September 22, 2010
Baby.
He was standing by the bar when someone reached over and tucked something into the crook of his arm. He just barely had time to acknowledge that that someone was Liza when he realized the bundle was squirming.
He looked down right as the squirming thing gave a disgruntled wail and stuck its fist in its mouth.
Liza was watching him. “Say hi to your daughter,” she said, eyes twinkling.
He came within inches of dropping the wee girl in shock.
I mean, obviously, I knew she was pregnant, he thought, looking his wife up and down wildly. And, ok, she’s clearly not anymore. And duh, I’m holding our kid.
He looked down at his baby girl, who was slobbering happily all over her fist and watching him with lazy pale snake eyes. She was brown like a nut, he saw, with peach fuzz hair of indeterminate color that seemed more gray than anything else.
“Baaaaaah,” she said, then smiled and went back to gnawing on her hand.
The bartender tapped the counter in front of them. “So, what’ll it be? First drink’s on us, save for the missus, who can drink free all night, ’cause she did the hard work. And the wiggleworm doesn’t get any, she’s too young,” she added with a smile.
This didn’t put out the girl much, and she babbled cheerily in the bartender’s direction.
“So, what’s her name?” he asked after they’d made their requests.
“Inez,” Liza said, grinning.
“Like that crotchety old lady down by the yarn store?”
Liza swatted him. “Yes.”
“You named her after the neighborhood curmudgeon?”
Liza blushed. “I like the name, ok?”
He smiled. “So do I. Sorry I wasn’t here.”
She hit him again. “Come off it. I knew it was likely when I married a sailor. And this way, I didn’t have to deal with you freaking out over the delivery.”
He looked at her.
“Don’t give me that slant-eyed look. You know you would have – I’ve never met a new dad who doesn’t, and you’re high-strung. This one was kinda peaceful, actually, until I called the midwife a devil whore and broke the doctor’s hand.”
He grinned. Then, mock-offended, “I am not high-strung.”
“You totally are.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Pah.”
“Thank you, Inez, same to you.”
Inez chirruped and started gumming on his elbow.
September 21, 2010
Oranges.
“I’m not eating it and you can’t make me!“
Heads snapped around at the uncharacteristic outburst, but unusually, Martin didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he was glaring most poisonously at the fruit in Liza’s hand.
Liza looked incredibly confused. “Ok, then,” she said, popping the orange segment in her own mouth. One corner of Martin’s mouth twitched downward in disgust.
Roland started to giggle.
Heads immediately started swiveling back towards the other end of the cafeteria as the giggles turned into outright guffaws.
“Mind sharing the joke?” Beowulf asked, watching in bemusement.
Roland ignored him. “You do know most oranges aren’t bitter, right?” he called, before dissolving into fresh giggles.
If anything, that just soured Martin’s mood further. “‘s what those bastards in Valencia keep saying.”
